Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The struggle with losing friends after a divorce...

In an ideal world losing friends and family after a divorce would never happen, but that is not the real world. I would love to say that I didn't lose friends and family after my divorce, but I did.

After my divorce I can't really say I lost friends. I think that the people I lost in my life were not my real friends to begin with. They were my ex husbands friends and I became friends because of him. After the divorce the friendship just wasn't there.

I think the biggest relationship that was altered was my relationship with my father in law. He was my best friend for so many years and we spent a lot of time together... Getting a divorce changed that. I would love to say that things aren't a little awkward when I do see my ex in laws, but they are. I can't explain it, it just is... I think in a way I am super sad about that, but in a way I am blessed with the time that I was able to share with him and all the things I was able to learn in that time frame. My daughter is super blessed to have such great grandparents and I look forward to her relationship with them growing over the years.

My dad said something right after I separated from my ex that has stuck with me to today... he said: what will define you and anyone else in this position or some other circumstance is how you handle what yourself in times like these. You can let it tear you down or you can learn and become a better person after.

Don't let something like a divorce define you. Learn from it, better yourself and life life to the fullest. Take time to grieve and move on... I know its sounds so easy, but it isn't. It will be a hard battle, but you will get through it!

3 comments:

  1. Bless you, honey (((( hugs )))) yes, loss of 'family' at such a painful time of your life must be a double body-blow - I'd never thought of that before xx

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  2. Divorce is so hard. I understand this. You were to have had such a great relationship with your in laws. I am sad to see that has ended.

    Being a relatively shy person, I tend to shy away from friendships. At the end of my relationship with my husband, i realized I had no close friends, except my sister. All the rest, was wives of his friends and the girl he cheated on me with.

    For a while, I was devastated by this loss. I am glad you realized what took me years to realize. I didn't lose any friendships. None of them were truly my friends. They proved that.

    I won't go into major detail but I worked at a job where his friends wife was my boss. She was my best friend -- I thought. It didn't take long for me to be unemployed. I was seriously shocked to find out how many people helped him to hide his affair, as well.

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  3. Divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through so far. It took me years to get to this point Susan. I still struggle with the hurt of many things from this time frame, but I do know God works in mysterious ways. My baby girl was the best thing that has ever happened from that time period and she amazes us every day! The 2nd best thing from that time was meeting my best friend and her husband. They quickly became my best friends and have walked side by side with me and my baby girl every day since then!

    Life is about change and nothing ever stays the same... I have quickly learned this!

    I am sorry you had to go through all that as well. Nothing like a big huge slap in the face after a time like that right...

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